I heard a Mother say to her daughter;
'People are annoying, you have to put up with annoying people, it's how life is. You will end up working with people who annoy you and you will have to put up with it.'
Why are we telling young minds 'you have to put up with annoying people'. Rather than guiding them on how to use their voice assertively and effectively.
I explored into this with myself, after also being conditioned in this way. Reflecting on all the 'annoying' people I worked for and with and took it. Because I had zero self worth and feared speaking my truth.
What does putting up with 'an annoying' person turn into for that young girl in the future?
Abusive relationships with friends and partners?
Working in an unfulfilling job?
Suppressing her feelings which will then present themselves in addictions? People pleasing addictions? Substance addictions? Prescribed Medication? All so so she can 'put up with annoying people.'
I work with women to speak their truth. I invite them to ask the questions they fear to ask. Even better when they dare to ask me a question they fear will 'offend'. It is my responsibility to be OK. If I am offended it is my offence to meet. If I can't meet it in that moment, I will respond so.
This process is vital to development and emotional growth. It isn't about shaming others, its about having a conversation and becoming aware of the impact of our actions on other peoples freedom.
You don't have to put up with anything if you don't want to. You have a voice.
I suppressed my voice for years, I found it again after deconstructing all I had come to believe to be my 'truth'. When I spoke my truth in the past it was threatened. So I locked down.
'I was always scared of being wrong
But I was wronged to believe I was wrong
When someone told me
Not everyones is right.'